Friday, February 5, 2010

Writing the Perfect Words

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how to say "I love you" on our wedding day. I really want it to be special but I'm nervous I won't be able to get what I feel across in words. Let alone the fact that I may flub it all up with tears. Stupid tears....ugh! (I know my mom will be crying in the audience...I doubt I'll be able to hold it together. My emotions are going to be running high that day.)

We've basically got two options. We can just say traditional vows. You know, the whole:

I, Jenn, take you Randy, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

But I just don't know if I'm feeling that. I like the idea of just having to repeat after the offiant, but it seems so devoid of emotion and personality. We may both be quiet people, but trust me, we've got tons of personality. We might be what some would classify as weird. (It keeps it interesting, I promise. Besides, everyone's got a little weird in them.)

So then we come to option two: Writing our own vows. Oh man, does this option make me nervous. Creative writing has never really been my forte. However I've seen this done different ways.

When my mom got married last year, she and her husband wrote their own individual vows specifically outlining (and in his case, with an actual numbered list...oh Jim) what they love about each other and what they're looking forward to in their life together. I can just imagine getting up there and being like, "Ummm I love you cause you're ummm tall and ummmm you have a cute butt." Ha. Embarassing right? I'm not sure I can handle this option.

I went to a friend's wedding recently and they chose a passage from a book I believe that acted as their vows. They recited the same words to each other but it was still different than the norm. I like this idea a lot actually. Other people have already thought of the perfect way to say I love you so why not "borrow" their words.

Here's a poem I found that I really love:

Love by Roy Croft
I love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple.
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good.
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.

I really like what it says, but maybe it's too long. Maybe we could each say half?

I think what I would like to do is combine both the traditional and our individual style. I would love to recite this poem to my mister first and then we can do the traditional, "I, Jenn, take you...blah blah blah" part. I like these versions a bit more then the first though:

I Jenn, take you Randy to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.


I, Jenn, take you, Randy, to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the man you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.

What do you think of my idea to combine both? What did you girls do? Did you write your own or recite the traditional vows? What do you think of the poem?

1 comment:

  1. Well, you know what I did... ;) When researching vows last year, I ran across that poem by Roy Croft and it is indeed beautiful. I don't think you should worry too much about it being long... weddings are pretty short as it is, so why not linger over your vows! And I like the more modern vows too, and a combo could be quite nice. And what do you mean you're not a good creative writer? You're doing a bang up job on this wedding blog! But then I'm biased... as your mom. :D