Monday, March 22, 2010

The Name Change Game

Since diving into the wedding blog community last summer, I've noticed a huge topic of debate is "Should I change my name after I get married?" Hmmm....good question.

I'm sure you've all thought about it at some point in your life. I know when I was little I always said I'd change my name as long as it was something more interesting than my current last name. (Don't get me wrong, I love that I share a last name with my wonderful family, but having a last name that is in the top 50 most popular in the world out of hundreds of thousands of last names, I wouldn't be opposed to having something a bit more unique.)

So what do I do, I agree to marry someone with just as boring a last name. Haha, figures! But that's really not a great reason to take or not take someone's last name.

Let's break it down with reasons For and Against:

For: Tradition

Tradition states that the woman shall take her husbands name after marriage. It's just what people always did, no question.

Against: It's the 21st Century, hello!

Tradition, smadition. Women are much more independent now then they used to be. Many want to keep their birth name as a way of saying, I'm my own individual self!

For: One Team, One Dream!

Some women choose to take their husbands name because they want to be one team. Teams have one name, not two. This usually also helps in the "what last name do they get" debate when you have children.

Against: We Are Family

Some women want to maintain strong ties with their family in a more physical way. Sharing a last name can allow them to do so.

: I'm Just Lazy

Some women are just lazy. They don't want to have to deal with changing their names on everything, including credit cards, social security cards, car insurance, bank accounts, etc.

Against: I'm a Career Lady Now
Some women, like my mom, use their name in their place of business. In her case, her name is her business.

For: It's a Commitment

Not only do you need to be one team, but it's a commitment. It's a way of saying I'm an totally and whole-heartedly committed to you and this marriage.

Against: It's Ugly!

Haha....I'm going back to my childhood again, but what if the name is just ugly or doesn't work right with your first name. For instance if my first name ended with a "k" sound (i.e. Mike) and I took my fiance's last name and the two names were said together it would sound like a dirty word. Umm, no thanks!

I could compromise and do the hyphen but I'm just not the hyphen type of girl. Even though there are many reasons not to change my name, I am totally for it. I love what it symbolizes and I want to be one team. That's not to say I can't still be an individual, but my first name says that. I don't need my last name to do that too.

So now I get to look forward to all those forms I will have to fill out once we're married. Great fun!

Are you ladies changing your names? What made you decide?


  1. I'm changing mine.

    And I'm taking on a last name that does NOT go with my first name. AT ALL. Think Julia Gulia. Yeah...that bad.

    But I want to be a part of his family and it means a lot to me to take his name when I become his I'm doing it. I'll get used to the goofy name in time. :)

  2. I'm sure you will. I probably would too. I say I'm picky but ultimately I just want his last name because it means a lot to me and I'm sure him as well.

  3. This is one thing I've kept going back and forth with. It's a little different for me because, where I'm from, when you get married, the woman does not take the man's last name at all. In fact, we all have two last names (our father's then our mother's). I know it would mean the world to my fiance if I took his last name, but my last name is not very common, and I love it!

  4. Hmmm Nina, maybe there's some sort of compromise. Maybe take your fiance's name as a middle name or hypenate or something. It's very tricky thing, this name change business.

  5. Very tricky indeed. I thought about taking either his last name or mine as a middle name, but I have a middle name (yes, I have a total of four names hahaha) and it is pretty unique as well -- mom was pretty creative when I was born lol.

    I considered just adding his last name to the mix, but I think five names would border insanity ;-)